Indians pitchers finalists for 2014 Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached Americans of the Year — yes, really

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Led by Cy Young favorite Corey Kluber, the Indians pitching staff put together quite a resume over the second half of the 2014 campaign, and national media are definitely aware.

Kluber and Co. did not expect, however, to garner national recognition for the pitching staff’s rally staches, which added even more glamour to the team’s performance on the mound.

The certified Mustacheology Analysis Unit (MAU) has selected the Cleveland Indians pitching staff as one of its 10 finalists for the 2014 Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year.

The MAU sorted through 500 nominees before narrowing it down to a list of 10 finalists. The award is slated to be announced October 25 in Richmond, Va.

The Indians pitching staff joins a group of fashionable mustache artists, including Bernie Brewer, Dan Snarr and Eric Holder, the first American U.S. Attorney General with a mustache since 1948. Thomas E. Dewey, the last U.S. presidential candidate from a major party with a mustache, will oversee the voting process.

The MAU provided the following analysis of the Cleveland Indians pitching staff:

  • Led by Cy Young hopeful Corey Kluber as well as the proprietor of one of the most impressive names in baseball history – Lonnie Chisenhall – the Cleveland Indians vastly exceeded expectations after adopting what is considered to be the most mustache-friendly clubhouse policy in professional baseball. The pitching staff’s collection of sturdy lower nose units lifted their entire team’s prospects to near-playoff capacity and created a broad level of handsomeness not seen since Debra Winger left to pursue her Hollywood dreams.

Tribe southpaw and huge rally stache advocate T.J. House – he of the wonderful fu Manchu style-stache — was excited to hear about the honor.

“I’m really surprised, myself, because I didn’t know this award was out there,” he said. “Also, I’m excited to see all those good staches recognized.”

House made it clear that rally staches are about more than just the fashion statement.

“I think the staff should win the award because we brought good awareness to a great cause — raising awareness for the extinction of mustaches,” he said.

To join House and his fellow Tribe pitchers in support of a great cause, visit and vote for the Cleveland Indians pitching staff.

–TribeVibe contributor Megan Golden



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